Burgers and Salads.

Restaurant: Parkshore Grill
Location: Downtown St. Petersburg, FL
Price: Wallet Starting to Burn


So Lulu and I decided to go for a bite to eat in lovely downtown St. Pete. We had decided to eat at Parkshore Grill because every time we pass it, it looks very busy and we figured that the food must be good. Well, we went to Parkshore on a Saturday afternoon. There was a bit of a wait but no worries. Lulu had ordered a Bloody Mary at the bar while we waited. When we finally sat down, we looked at the menu and we were both eyeing the spinach dip that everyone around us had ordered. So we decided to order one.

It was fantastic. The spinach was real spinach. It tasted freshly made and the cheese in the center was warm melted goat cheese. We finished all of it almost immediately.


Then, Lulu wanted to try the Sunflower Seed Crusted Chicken Salad which consisted of spring greens, dried cranberries, sprouts, carrots, and Honey Dijon vinaigrette. We shared this dish and enjoyed it immensely. 

In the meantime, I had ordered the Parkshore Burger with a side of fries. This burger sounded mouthwateringly good. The burger contained Maytag blue cheese dressing, applewood smoked bacon. Mmm, bacon. Might the meat was excellent when it was cooked medium.

The food was fantastic but then I noticed a hair on my dish. Okay, no worries. Perhaps it was my hair. Then I noticed there was another hair on Lulu's salad dish. I'm starting to get a little upset. It was a hot day and I asked for a glass of water and what do you know? I look into my glass and I see a dead ant on the top of my glass. That was the final straw.


We decided due to the unsanitary conditions that we wouldn't go back there. Now perhaps you guys think we are being too harsh, but when you guys get hair all on your food and ants in your water, don't say we didn't warn you.


We give Parkshore Grill a 3.5 out of 5 forks. Nuff' said.

Breakfast Time!

Restaurant: Keke's Breakfast Cafe
Location: Winter Park, FL
Price: Average

I love breakfast, my favorite meal of the day, next to dinner. I decided to go out to breakfast one morning to Keke's Breakfast Cafe. Was very surprised with the atmosphere. Classy yet casual for a breakfast place. The menu was pretty straight forward: morning eats. They had a selection of waffles, pancakes, omelettes, and normal sides like bacon, sausage, and what they were calling "home fries". I had the Belgian waffles, two eggs over easy, a side of bacon and a side of home fries. Now you might have noticed I didn't mention grits was on the menu. Well kids, thats because its not. I myself love grits but to not have it on your menu is an insult in my eyes, but maybe its just me. The Belgian waffle was tasty as well as the bacon. The home fries were not great but still tasty. My overall experience was fair at most. It was the atmosphere. I believe a breakfast cafe shouldn't be that classy. Plus, it was kind of stuffy. I couldn't even relax. I would say it was a little pricey but the food was good. Would I go back? Maybe for take out.

I ranked this classy breakfast cafe 2 out of 5 forks.

Pizza.....

Restaurant: Vito and Michael's Pizzeria
Location: St. Pete Beach, FL
Price: Penny Pincher

Located in a strip mall, when you first enter this establishment it reminds you of any type of pizza-by-the-slice joint but over to the right there is a restaurant portion that looked neglected. As Lee and I sat in its cold chairs, we looked at the menu. It seemed to have all of your typical Italian foods such as marsala, manicotti, pizza, chicken parmesan, etc. The menu seemed more than adequate. However, this isn't the place to go if you want to try something new. We decided that we just wanted to get some pizza and there was a lunch special going on (Two large slices of pizza and a drink for under $5). We both got one slice with sausage and the other slice with fresh tomatoes. The pizza was quite large so we were pretty excited, as we had not eaten all day. The sausage was thinly sliced which is the way we both enjoy sausage on the pizza and the tomatoes really did appear to be fresh. The pizza was pretty good. Nothing to write home about, although we didn't enjoy that the pizza had gotten soggy quickly. Lee had to use a fork to cut and eat one of his pizza slices and Lee hates that. One thing that he doesn't like is soggy crust where you can't fold a slice and eat it without it dilapidating. Overall, the pizza wasn't bad, we just didn't like the crust.

We rank Vito and Michael's Pizzeria 3 out of 5 forks.

New Member to the blog.

Hello everyone. We have a new member who will be reviewing many Orlando restaurants, Mr. George Bluffington. You will hear from him soon. So to all those in Orlando, you will soon know what good food is and where you can find it!

Now for dinner. Mmm Sushi.

Restaurant: Sushi By Design
Location: Tierra Verde, St. Petersburg, FL
Price: Won't Bust the Bank

Hello again. Tonight we went to Sushi By Design in lovely Tierra Verde. Lulu has been talking about this restaurant for quite some time saying that I have got to try the sushi and believe me, if anyone knows sushi, it's Lulu. The two of us walked in and I was shocked at how small the place was. For those that are wanting to go and have sushi with a bunch of friends, this might not be the place for you. There was only 5 tables and a few chairs by the sushi bar. It was very quiet and we were the only ones in the place other than the owner and the waitress. Lulu had told me that the restaurant was packed the last time she went there so maybe it was just a slow night.

We had ordered two miso soups, a spicy tuna salad, two special rolls (the "Pink Lady" which sounds too much like a sex toy, and the "Caterpillar" roll), and a roll that we designed which consisted of eel, pineapple, mango, avocado, and eel sauce. The Pink Lady had salmon on the inside, tuna wrapped on the outside, asparagus, cucumber, and a special designer sauce. The Caterpillar roll had crab salad, cucumber, asparagus, topped with avocado, and eel sauce.

Honestly, we enjoyed everything except the miso soup. Lately we've been having bad luck with the miso soup. It's either too salty, or they're trying to make it something more spectacular than it has to be. This one tasted like it was pre-packaged, one of those powdered ones. However, the rest of the food was excellent and we both would recommend this restaurant. The spicy tuna salad was excellent. The portion size was quite large. We split it and were content. The salad dressing was spicy and tasted like it had some sriracha and sesame seed oil and contained the perfect amount of spice which didn't linger in our mouths. We liked how they used different sauces on the rolls along with the various seasonings. It was classic sushi with a twist.

It was so good that we decided to have dessert. The dessert was a tempura brownie placed on top of a pineapple topped with whipped cream and strawberries which was drizzled with caramel. Oooohweeeeee, it was chocolatey mushy goodness in a fried dough.

Lulu and I give Sushi By Design 4 out of 5 forks.

Hello bloggers.

Hello, welcome to our blog. This is a very straight-forward blog about food reviews in the Tampa Bay Metro Area all the way down to lovely South Florida. I (Lee Paton) will be doing a majority of the South Florida food reviews and Lulu will be reviewing Tampa Bay area restaurants. In case you are wondering, we are not food critics, nor would we want to be food critics. God knows how many restaurants are in their pockets anyways. A good review here, a good review there. But no one ever has the heart to say how fucking terrible it is. It's usually the jealous and slanderous fellow neighborhood restaurant owners who talk a whole lot of shit about the place so it's kind of hard to take those reviews seriously as well. So just to be fair, we're no "experts" but we know a great deal about good food. Lulu has a family who enjoys the occasional night on the town. They go out to eat, have a nice bottle of wine, and enjoy the atmosphere. My parents are the same way. Growing up in an all-Italian family, my parents enjoy the same things. If you ever needed a suggestion on wine, my father is the man you need to see. Italian food? My mother has got it in the bag. So we know what good food tastes like. Anyway, on to our first review.


Restaurant: Sea Horse Restaurant
Location: St. Pete Beach (Pass-a-Grille), FL
Price: Penny Pincher
I would like to talk about our breakfast that we had at Sea Horse Restaurant. The reviews online said that it was a good restaurant but the reviews were almost too good to be true; one person stated that all of the restaurants on St. Pete Beach were terrible except for this place. Could these have been true? Was Sea Horse really a great neighborhood eatery or was it disguised as a horrible tourist death trap? We decided to find out. We came at a time when they were serving only breakfast so perhaps our review would be a little bit different had it been the lunch menu. It was packed so we were expecting good things. Our waitress was very nice and the service was speedy. We received our food roughly five minutes after we ordered. I ordered a glass of orange juice and Lulu asked for iced tea and she stated that it was a damn good iced tea. Shortly after receiving our drinks, Lulu ordered the biscuits and gravy along with some scrambled eggs with cheese. I ordered the French toast with a side of bacon (Nothing special). One would think, "That's pretty simple. How can you fuck that up?" but let me just say, it is very possible at this restaurant. The eggs that Lulu had ordered were dry. Absolutely no flavor what-so-ever. It was one of those salt and pepper jobs and even after all that salt and pepper, it still was tasting pretty bad. However, the biscuits and gravy were very good. My French toast was a little upsetting. They gave me three pieces of white bread that they grilled and I had to put the butter and powdered sugar on myself. My French toast tasted good but that was only because I pretty much made it myself. The bacon that they gave me was a joke. Bacon? More like Fakin'. The slices were rail thin. I mean so thin, it was like that scene in Goodfellas where Pauly was slicing the garlic with the razor. I was pissed at that because it was $3.25 for a side of bacon. So all in all, it seems like this is a touristy place that people go to and have breakfast and lunch, maybe spend a few dollars on some subpar food. I was kind of surprised that there were so many good reviews of this restaurant.

Lulu and I would have to say that we would not recommend eating here and we give Seahorse Restaurant two forks down.